Well this is the post I wanted to write for Movember. It’s now December. Sorry about that but we got here in the end.
I think the reason I’ve been procrastinating about this was that I really didn’t know how to write it. So I won’t, but I will quote and link to those who are more articulate than me on two topics that I love and remind me of ways to cherish myself and others.
It’s ok to be broken and put back together, it’s ok to not be perfect. Until something has been broken and repaired you don’t really understand it completely or visualise its strength. I have mentioned before (probably on twitter) my enjoyment of Kintsugi. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery using gold or other precious metals, so that rather than hiding the damage it is celebrated as being part of the history of the piece and it becomes more beautiful than the original. I was lucky enough to be gifted a lovely piece of Kintsugi and the artist included a card that I’d like to quote from
When we view our lives as being of great worth, yet sometimes broken or even shattered, we begin to understand that no matter the trauma, despair, hurt, fear, abuse, failure, addiction, disease, and even death, our scars and wounds are just part of us. As we do, we also must look at those breaks as a place for beauty to transpire for the skilled hands of repair to fill with gold. Each time, we must see we are more beautiful for being broken.
I love this video by Nerdwriter1 that gives a brilliant outline of Kintsugi too.
And an excerpt of very nice writing (thank you to the kind gent that shared it with me)
…Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than the love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole…
Derek Walcott, The Antilles: Fragments of Epic Memory
So if being broken and repaired can have beauty and positivity then there is a strength in opening ourselves up to this idea and letting ourselves be vulnerable. To let ourselves be vulnerable to showing our flaws (real and perceived) and emotions is needed to make those human connections that we crave.
Brené Brown has a great Ted Talk on the power of vulnerability and the awesome Cyndi Darnell has written a great blog post on vulnerability, emotions and relationships (I’ve probably posted these before but they are so good they bear repeating).