Thank you

I’ve had a little bit of a blip. I’ve blogged about depression before and talked about it many times. And so yes I’ve had a little bit of a blip. I’m saying a little bit because I was still able to function for the most part and I’ve seen the finality of the severe end of the scale and don’t want to diminish the suffering that is happening for the people who are there. But I thought I’d like to describe what it was I went through.
There was no good or beauty in the things I tried to do. Internally all I could see were faults and negatives. I was doing *everything* wrong. I thought I was not up to par in bookings despite the amazing feedback I was getting from clients old and new. I couldn’t shoot new content because I couldn’t see the merit in any photo or video I took. For example I thought the video this still is from was irredeemably awful. I nearly threw it out and it certainly wasn’t useable. I could not see any merit in it at all, the angles were bad, the lighting was awful, I was woeful. (I’ve since edited it and it’s actually one of my favorites!). At work I was presented immaculately and my apartment was sparkling. I smiled and laughed and did actually enjoy myself but I did not have the energy to do this enough. At home my animals were cared for and adored, I was not. I crawled into a puddle and stayed there.

So I want to say thank you to the people around me, family, friends and clients. You do not realise it but you were all, without exception, wonderful. Just by being you with your own ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears. If I ever really need help I have professional support systems in place, so please don’t ever worry and don’t ever feel like you need to treat me differently. I love you all and I’m good now xx

Be yourself

When I get asked what is the best way to present myself if I want to make a booking I say just be yourself. If I have declined you as a client it is not a judgement of your worthiness. I have no boundaries based on class, socioeconomic status, race, religion or political affiliations (with the caveat that I am still not accepting clients who are part of federal politics until you start treating asylum seekers with humanity).
I use the way you approach me as a way to decide if I can work with you to provide the service you are seeking. I am not going to waste my energy and good humour or your time and money. In a similar vein just because I advertise my services are available this does not mean I am required to accept you. I can choose who I spend intimacy with and who I allow into my private space. So by being yourself it allows me to begin to decide, not if you have the qualities I desire but if I can be what you are looking for.

Beautiful things

A collation of things I have loved recently. Including dot points because I love them too.

 

The best Flying Circus

Hi Blog, it’s been awhile. I’ve been cheating on you with Twitter.

I made a big call on twitter recently and named what I thought the best Monty Python Flying Circus sketch is. Avail yourself here and behold https://youtu.be/5qfauCJ_BsM

So why would I say this one and not the eternal favourites Dead Parrot or Cheese Shop? Not even Ministry of Silly Walks? Because the fathers of British surrealist humour (the grandfathers being The Goon Show, naturally) have taken their classic pepperpot lady, who is completely nonplussed by a stranger in wet weather gear bursting through her door while she stuffs a chicken with household items, and let’s her narrate the story of her house not being a lifeboat which she later goes on to completely falsify by going out to buy cakes on the lifeboat while the sailors are trying to deal with the new reality of their lifeboat not existing. Fucking genius.

But there’s also the quantum physics of it, what is our reality? Does our world exist if it’s not observed. My world is different to your world because the way we view it shapes it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_(quantum_physics)

Or does it? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_(physics)

And on a more personal note don’t you just love that feeling of lying in someone’s arms and the outside world just disappearing? Maybe it doesn’t disappear though, you could be on a lifeboat.

Selfishness

The topic of selfishness has come up often in the last couple of weeks for me. And you’ll be pleased to know I’m not going to launch into a rant about how bad it is 🙂

No! Selfishness can be a good and healthy thing. Have you ever felt guilty for making time to do something you physically or emotionally needed? Of course you have, we all have. We are taught that the kids come first, that the family is more important than the individual, that the status quo must be maintained, we must do our bit for society. But I firmly believe that the flight attendants have it right, you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. You can’t help anyone if you are passed out from lack of oxygen.

Update

Hi! and and quick update on some changes.

My rates are now back to normal, no more discounts for Hobart outcalls and Melbourne. I am also able to do same day bookings again with 2 hours notice, although I won’t be doing many of these, and occasionally I will advertise (on Scarlet Blue and Available Angels and also on here and Twitter) that I am available now.

And good news for North West Tas, I am planning on heading up your way when I go to Launceston next.

Censorship

Sometimes I get asked Corrine you do some wonderful fetish bookings, why don’t you have any videos of these topics? Well gentle reader, sit down and I’ll tell you a tale.

When sexworkers (cammers, porn stars, clip makers for example) put together a video to sell online there are a few practicalities to work through first. Where will you sell these clips? You could use any of the many video/clip selling or membership sites by opening an account with them, meeting verification and identification requirements, giving them 30-40% of your income from sales (yes really!) and you’re good to go. Or you could run your own site, work through the requirements of finding a host that allows this, finding a payment processor that will process high risk merchants for online sales (and they charge like a wounded bull, $500/year/credit card you want to accept plus a set up fee of around $500 plus a processing fee around 10-15%. The largest adult payment processor CCBill also don’t offer credit card processing if your business has an Australian address so there’s another hurdle there too) and then you are ready to launch.

OK so we have that done, and here is the but, but there is another layer of requirements to meet. Acceptable use policies (some countries like the UK have restrictions on porn categories too which are another complication but that can be for another time).

Here are the acceptable content rules for clips4sale, the most popular video selling site

  • Intentionally Violating Rules – No content (clips, videos or images) can be sold on Clips4Sale that intentionally violates our stated Rules and Regulations (Ex. You can not knowingly sell a clip with our services the violates any of our rules and then provide a “full, uncut” version outside of Clips4Sale via email or other means, etc.). If you are found doing this your studio and/or master account (all studios) may be permanently closed and/or terminated.
  • No Underage Material Real or Simulated (ex., sex with dolls) – All actors must be and appear 18 years of age or older in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Horror/Snuff – You cannot act out someone being maimed or killed in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Necro (necrophilia) – You cannot have sex with dead people in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Blood – There cannot be any blood or simulated blood shown in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Asphyxiation – You cannot suffocate or insinuate altering someone’s breathing in any way (ex., choking, strangulation, hanging by the neck etc.) in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Animal Sex – There cannot be any sex with animals. Please make sure there are no any animals at all in the clips, videos or images.
  • No Forced Sex – You can not imply someone is being forced to have sex against their will in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Non-consensual Sex – You can’t show someone having sexual intercourse against their will or without their knowledge (ex., they are passed out or sleeping, i.e., their eyes are closed) in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Hardcore Bondage with Sex – You cannot have someone fully bound (both arms and both legs) and penetrate them in any way. No full bondage with penetration of any kind. If someone has all four (4) limbs bound, they cannot be penetrated in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Vomit – You can not show any vomit in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Scat (feces) – There cannot be any feces or simulated feces in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Pissing/Peeing (urine) – There cannot be any peeing on other people or show someone consuming urine in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Fisting – There cannot be vaginal fisting or anal fisting in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Chloroform – You cannot use or imply using any type of chemical to render someone unconscious in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Weapons – There can be no weapons shown on Clips4Sale in any clips, videos or images. This includes prop/fake weapons.
  • No Drugs – There cannot be any drugs shown on Clips4Sale in any clips, videos or images.
  • No Intoxication – Someone cannot be intoxicated during sex in any clips, videos or images. This includes, but is not limited to: Alcohol and all other substances that cause intoxication or can cause someone to be considered as being under the influence.
  • No Crushing – There is to be no crushing of any animals in any clips, videos or images. Such as, but not limited to: crabs, lobsters, spiders, fish, scorpions, lizards, etc.

And these are the applicable sections of CCBills acceptable use policy

  • Marketing the site utilizing content including “Kids”, “Lolita”, “Pedo”, “Peta”, “Peto”, Pre-teen”, “Pedophile”, “Underage”, “Child” or any other words, images, or descriptions that would lead someone to believe that the models are less than 18 years of age is not permitted anywhere on venue including the URL and meta tags.
  • The posting or display of any image or wording depicting or related to extreme violence, incest, snuff, scat or the elimination of any bodily waste on another person, mutilation, or rape anywhere on the site in a sexual or erotic manner, including the URL and meta tags.
  • The posting or display of any image or wording depicting or related to bestiality anywhere on the site including the URL and Meta tags.

A lot of these are completely understandable, the rape, age related, non consensual topics are not ok, never will be. But I’ve had a video removed because I used the term sleep in the title (restless sleep, couldn’t sleep along those lines, sex while asleep is a non consensual activity so the word can’t be used). Consensual non-consent is not allowed, either is hardcore bondage. Interestingly blood is taboo EVEN THOUGH WOMEN ARE DESIGNED TO DO THIS MONTHLY. In the lists are the reasons why I don’t have golden shower videos, even though it is my most popular fetish in a booking, Mastercard and Visa have deemed this unacceptable.

Yes these content rules are set by Visa and Mastercard, and not the host or payment processor.

Touch

I’ve been thinking about this post for a LONG time. Finally here it is, touch and it’s importance to us adults and the science of why it is good. I’ve relied heavily on the references at the bottom (ie cut and paste plagiarism) so be sure to check them out if you want further reading.

As well as the normal escort bookings I do less sexual and non sexual bookings too, cuddling, massage, sensation play and so on. And I adore being touched and caressed and massaged. Sometime I feel that sex, while it is wonderful in it’s own right, is an adult way of experiencing touch and connection. On a neurobiological level though there are different mechanisms at play, touch is a lot about the hormone oxytocin and sex is a more complex mix of  oxytocin, dopamine and vasopressin for example. Maybe its more on a cultural level that sex plays this role.

“To touch can be to give life” Michelangelo

Touch is our primary non-verbal way of conveying intimate emotions and as such essential for our physical and emotional wellbeing. Whether a strong handshake, an encouraging pat on the back, a sensual caress, a nudge for attention, a tender kiss, or a gentle brush of the shoulder, physical contact can convey a vitality and immediacy at times more powerful than language. Interpersonal touch provides the most emotional of our tactile experiences. That said, in many situations in the Western world, interpersonal touch can be actively discouraged, often due to the threat of potential litigation or changing public attitudes. Of course this isn’t licence to going about and groping strangers! As any traveler who starts to feel somewhat claustrophobic in an overcrowded train would be able to understand, interpersonal touch does not always have a positive emotional impact. But I think we are losing the art of knowing when touch is welcomed.

 

What touch can do?

Touch activates the brain’s orbitofrontal cortex, which is linked to feelings of reward and compassion. There are studies showing that touch signals safety and trust, it soothes. Basic warm touch calms cardiovascular stress. It activates the body’s vagus nerve, which is intimately involved with our compassionate response, and a simple touch can trigger release of oxytocin.

Interpersonal touch is the most commonly used method of comforting and an instrument in nursing care. For example, patients who were touched by a nurse during preoperative instructions experienced lower subjective and objective stress levels, than people who were not. At a physiological and psychological level, mediated affective touch on the forearm can reduce heart rate of participants that experienced a sad event. Touching patients with Alzheimer’s disease can have huge effects on getting them to relax, make emotional connections with others, and reduce their symptoms of depression.

Touch can be combined with other forms of communication to boost their impact. When staff who were caring for elderly people combined their verbal encouragement to eat with tactile contact, they consumed more calories and protein with the positive effects lasting for up to 5 days. And touch can have tangible benefits. A study of NBA basketball teams whose players touch each other more (backslaps and high fives for example) win more games.

What is happening?

Stimulating the pressure receptors in the skin lowers stress hormones. At the same time, warm touch stimulates release of oxytocin, which enhances a sense of trust and attachment. Oxytocin is a hormone that has been implicated in mammalian bonding behaviors and has many studies on the relationship between it’s levels and touch. It is now believed to help with illness recovery, life length, addiction recovery, depression recovery and anxiety prevention as well. Women who report having received more hugs from their partners in the past have been shown to have higher levels of oxytocin and significantly lower blood pressure levels than those women who do not have much of a history of being hugged much by their partners

Recent research has shown that certain parts of the brain, such as the orbitofrontal cortex, respond specifically to ‘pleasant touch’, such as the feel of velvet on the skin and that there are certain classes of tactile receptors in the skin exist only in the haired skin but not in the skin of the hands, or the soles of the feet.

Studies have demonstrated that we have an ability to decode emotions by touch alone. It seems we come equipped with an ability to send and receive emotional signals solely by touch. Participants communicated eight distinct emotions—anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, sympathy, happiness, and sadness—with accuracy rates as high as 78 percent.

Why?

There are several theories on why interpersonal touch should have such a powerful effect on people. One is that it may be due to cognitive interpretational factors. The receiver of touch perceives or assumes that the person touching them likes and trusts them. Another theory is that the normal association between touch and stress reduction in early childhood may result in a positive response to being touched in later life. We’re never touched as much as when we’re children, which is when our comfort level with physical contact, and with physical closeness in general develops.

Also the positive effects of interpersonal touch in increasing compliance or connection may also relate to receptors in the human skin that appear to code for pleasant touch giving a neural connection between the situation and pleasant sensations elicited by the touch.

The release of oxytocin also helps explain our propensity for self-caressing, tings like flipping our hair, rubbing our hands, hugging ourselves, massaging our foreheads, rubbing our hands, or stroking our necks, which we do hundreds of times each day as a calming mechanism. Evidence supports this by showing self-massage has been shown to slow the heart rate and lower the level of the stress hormone cortisol.

When we’re the ones initiating contact, we may reap all the same benefits as those we’re touching. A person giving a massage experiences as great a reduction in stress hormones as the person on the receiving end. How many of us enjoy giving a massage as much as receiving? I can hear a lot of heads nodding 🙂

References

This is your brain on sex

Social touch in human–computer interaction

The science of interpersonal touch: An overview Alberto Gallace, Charles Spence

Hands On Research: The Science of Touch

The Power of Touch

Prof. Matt Hertenstein Analyzes Power of Touch for Magazine

That human touch that means so much: Exploring the tactile dimension of social life

 

Save Scarlet Tas

This is a collation of tweets I have written in response to the Health Minister Michael Ferguson defunding the Scarlet Alliance Tasmania Sex Worker Project

  • OK twitter, pull up a seat. It’s time to talk, it’s going to be long so I’ll blog it as well. Friends and allies I’m going to ask for help
  • How important is it to you that you have a peer support network? Do you connect with other workers/people about your job/industry?
  • Do you have family, friends, contacts, support, groups you can debrief with, share knowledge, vent to, learn from?
  • Imagine trying to do that if you aren’t able to tell your normal contacts, people, friends, family what you do for a living
  • Whether you have a good day and want to celebrate or a bad day and need help, or if you need practical advice who would you go to?
  • Peer support networks are CRITICAL to keeping me, and us, safe. And sane. And functioning.
  • Like to use LinkedIn for networking? I can’t, they don’t allow sexworkers
  • If you needed to go to the doctor would you know how to find one? This is just one thing sw peer support is for.
  • Why don’t I just use my real name? To hide my loved ones from these people who want to ‘save’ me (from local paper) BnG6LkqCUAA5oUO
  • Peer networks are where I can ask how do I? What do I? Can I? Could you please? Who are sw’er friendly health services? How to work safely?
  • In Tasmania sex work peer support is provided by a @scarletalliance run project. We have no state based support group like @SWOPnsw
  • The Scarlet Alliance Tasmanian project gets very little funding, not even enough for a full-time position and this is now under threat
  • If you understand why sex worker peer support is so important could you please join me in letting @fergusonmichael and @WillHodgman know
  • Dear @fergusonmichael and @WillHodgman thank you for funding the sexworker peer support program so far, please let it continue. In Tas it is the only service I can rely on for non judgmental support and advice on sexual health, general health, mental health referrals and recommendations. They give practical advice on working safely. They keep me connected in a stigmatised, isolated industry. They also also connect services that use sexworkers, such as disability support and aged care services and represent and can speak for me.
  • The hashtag is #SaveScarletTas please use it, tweet it, retweet it. Thanks in advance

I was asked are you fearful that something bad is going to happen to you? I have to be realistic. If someone wants to do harm they will often choose a victim who won’t be noticed if they go missing or won’t cause a media storm. Screening clients is super important and peer networks are a huge part of this. They’ve also taught me lots of safety techniques like where to stand when you enter a room, how to scan an unfamiliar room quickly, how to monitor condoms not removed etc

Something that the Tas sex work project is brilliant at is lobbying. It would be easier to change legislation for the worse without them. (I’m just putting this out there, it’s not outside the realms of possibility that a client criminilisation model of sex work legislation will follow).

Short notice bookings

As you all know I currently require a fair bit  of notice (I actually think it’s not much but the outrage it brings makes me think that others feel differently) for a booking. At the moment I need at a minimum to know before 6pm the day before. However I can take limited short notice outcalls but I choose not to. Why? Because I feel like I’m encouraging/condoning the practice of really bad text messaging, in my experience the quality of the booking request goes down with the a) the decrease in amount of notice given and b) the time of night the request is sent. Mathematically this would be expressed as

Q = (x·h)+1/(y·n²)

where

Q = quality of booking request,

h = absolute difference between 12 noon and time request was sent in hours,

n = notice given in hours

x,y = variables

So what constitutes a ‘bad’ text message? I shall give some instructive examples

  • Out tonight [hotel name] how much?

Where is hello or hi or some acknowledgement that I am a human? What is your name, how do I address you? As for how much MY PRICES ARE LISTED IN THE SAME PLACE YOU GOT MY NUMBER FROM, if you are expecting a special rate because you are special I will add a special person surcharge. Also in this place that has my phone number and prices it will have said I don’t do same day bookings. I have set a boundary and you have chosen to ignore it, this doesn’t give me any confidence that you will respect any other boundaries within the booking. If we ignore all of that I now have to engage in a back and forth to try and work out what type of booking you want and how long you would like to a) tell you when I can fit it into my schedule and b) give you the price as different types of bookings have different rates.

  • Text me baby

Sigh. Un

  • Hi r u free
  • Hello Corrine. How would I massage you and have some fun for 30 minutes for an outcall tonight?